


you've exhumed my love

by arashiyama (harukatenoh)



Category: World Trigger
Genre: Developing Relationship, Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 09:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harukatenoh/pseuds/arashiyama
Summary: Arashiyama is Border's first love. However, Arashiyama is Jin's first love before that, and will be long after that.





	you've exhumed my love

**Author's Note:**

> there is a criminally low amount of arajin in this archive so i guess it's up to me to fill the gaps... [mother voice] i have to do EVERYTHING around here
> 
> work title is from from gold by novo amor, and this fic goes out to hassan for giving me the title even if he hasn't read world trigger.

There is a saying that runs in Border. It goes something like “ _Arashiyama Jun is Border’s first love_ ”, or in other words: at some point, everybody who could have a crush on Arashiyama, has.

Jin is an attestment to the truth of this statement. He would go as far to say that he is the original experiencer of this statement, since he is pretty sure he was the first person to swoon when Arashiyama walked through Border’s doors four years ago.

Of course, he didn’t swoon literally. At the age of fifteen, Jin had an unreasonable amount of pride and even when faced with the ever difficult obstacle that is Arashiyama’s fresh and handsome fifteen year old self, he had held firm.

Jin had been a great deal of things at fifteen. Aware of romance... not particularly interested in it. He had gotten the occasional confession from the girls at his school but he had rejected them all with the attitude of somebody waiting for something better.

His something better, as he had discovered, turned out to be boys. Jin thinks that the saying could use some revision. Something like, “ _Arashiyama Jun is the awakening of every gay guy in Border._ ” would be more fitting.

Arashiyama is easy to love. Jin is not a sentimental person; if he admits it to himself, he’s altogether too scared to hold onto emotions in that kind of manner. Despite this, there is something in Arashiyama that pulls it out of Jin, pushes Jin’s heart into the spotlight. It’s in the way he offers his smiles, easily and generously. It’s in how he expresses things, open and unafraid.

The first conversation they have goes like this:

> “Hello Jin! It’s nice to meet you, I’m Arashiyama. Shinoda told me you were the same age as me?” There he is, hopeful and enthusiastic, daring to standing in front of Jin while shining enough to blind.
> 
> Jin smirks. “Please refer to me as senpai, since I’ve been here much longer than you.”
> 
> Arashiyama balks slightly, confidence draining out of his face. “Oh, of course… senpai. Sorry.”
> 
> Many thoughts run through Jin’s head - _is this easily intimidated boy really joining border - what if he cries - i’ll get scolded for scaring the new recruits - is it just me or was that kind of cute_ \- and the one Jin settles on voicing is “Don’t worry. I’m just joking. I’m Jin, it’s nice to meet you too.”
> 
> Arashiyama brightens right back up and Jin has to smile at that, because even if he is dubbed mature for his age, he’s still fifteen and easily swept along in the mood, eager to explore everything this new friend had in store.

Arashiyama and Jin are fast friends, there aren’t that many people their age around and as much as Jin loves to beat Tachikawa in fights, he would also like to do all the other things that fifteen year olds like to do. Tachikawa, unfortunately, has a very one track mind.

Arashiyama slots into the position of best friend easily. Jin goes to his sports games and pays attention to the way Arashiyama dances around the field for more reasons than to give him tips afterwards. Not that Jin fully realizes that. In return, Arashiyama helps Jin with homework and Jin spends as much time looking at how Arashiyama looks when concentrating as he does studying. He puts it down to his habit of people watching.

They end up in the same class at school the year after Arashiyama joins Border and it’s like fate, like doom. Arashiyama sits next to Jin every day and wakes him up when he drifts off in class and shares his lunch and Jin thinks _i have nothing to offer him, nothing at all_. Arashiyama is popular, almost intimidatingly popular. The people that crowd around Arashiyama’s - and thus extending to Jin’s - table is overwhelming at times.

What is also overwhelming is the bitter taste in his mouth he gets when he sees Arashiyama surrounded by these people, a shining star, light years away from Jin. He is okay with it, he tells himself he is and ignores any bad tastes his mind makes up to torment him with. He ignores it when Arashiyama is ambushed every week with a new confession from a shy, enamoured, infatuated girl. Arashiyama turns them down every time, gently, easily because he’s Arashiyama and Jin believes that he might just be above them all. Above everybody in this school, in this town, destined for brighter places.

Still, Arashiyama lets Jin fall asleep against his shoulder, still he lets Jin drag him down and Jin does so reluctantly, wholeheartedly. He doesn’t want to hold Arashiyama down but there is something in the way Arashiyama moves, smiles, exists that makes Jin want to grasp onto him with everything he’s got. The future is undecided, and Jin decides he should never let Arashiyama go.

Even though he decides this, even though he cements himself into the title of _best friend_ , Jin exists with the same comfortable distance between him and Arashiyama that he keeps with everybody in his life. There is no distance between him and Arashiyama in his heart, but the fancies of the heart are rarely ever realized in reality. So he measures out the arm's length, allows Arashiyama to be as close as he can get, and leaves it at that. This method hasn’t failed him yet, for all its sixteen years in use. He maintains it diligently, even when his best friend asks him if he’s lonely a lot.

> “No, I’m not. Why would I be?”
> 
> Arashiyama shrugs at that, not pushing the topic any further. Jin can recognize the doubt in his face though, and he swallows softly at the idea that it suggests.
> 
> “Well, you always have me I suppose.”
> 
> Jin always has Arashiyama. It’s an interesting thought.

He tries really, really hard to maintain the distance. One thing about seeing the future is that he knows when he’s going to fail, and he figures out soon enough from the glimpses he catches that he will fail. Usually, this means that he stops trying and allows fate to take him, but he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want this outcome. He continues trying.

Arashiyama doesn’t make this attempt any easier when one day, he is confessed to by a boy. Arashiyama gives him the same speech he gives everybody else; gently telling them he wishes he could accept their feelings but he is too busy with Border, too busy with school to be a good boyfriend to them. Everytime Jin hears the spiel he has to scoff at the idea of Arashiyama ever, ever being a bad boyfriend to anybody.

He isn’t around when the confession actually happens, so he questions Arashiyama about it later, with more reservations than usually called for.

> “So, Houtarou confessed to you today.”
> 
> Arashiyama looks up from his workbook. “Oh yeah! He looked like he was about to faint when he did it. I felt really bad.” His tone is mildly endeared, mostly neutral. The same one he takes when talking about all of his possible romantic endeavours.
> 
>  “What did you say to him?” Jin asks, trying his best to keep his voice level.
> 
> “Same thing I always say, ‘wish I could accept’, ‘you deserve to date somebody who will treat you better than I could’, that stuff.”
> 
> Arashiyama is not taking this conversation nearly as seriously as Jin is, his focus already back on the work in front of him.
> 
> Jin in comparison, can’t seem to take his gaze off Arashiyama, his stare fixed to him as he says “You would’ve dated him?”
> 
> Arashiyama nods. “Yeah. He was cute. We were in English together last year.” He doesn’t even look up.
> 
> Jin withdraws, returning to his neglected homework with this newfound knowledge.

The distance shrinks, and shrinks, and then crumbles completely. The breaking point is when Konami gets involved, because the only things that turn out well when Konami gets involved are fights.

> Konami bursts into the living room at Tamakoma, pointing a finger accusingly at Jin. “I can’t believe you’re dating my cousin!” She screeches. Jin looks up in shock, one of the rare moments where he’s taken off guard.
> 
> “I am?”
> 
> “That’s what Karasu-” and Konami cuts off mid name, Jin’s long sigh making her realize exactly who she’s dealing with. “W-well,” she mutters, and she has the decency to look embarrassed, “it’s one of his more believable.”
> 
> That does not sit well with Jin. “It is?”
> 
> Konami takes this in with far more thought than the two words warranted, her face changing from confused to appalled to incredulous within a matter of seconds.
> 
> “Do you mean to tell me,” she begins and Jin’s heart is already sinking, because he knows what is coming next, “that you haven’t noticed?”
> 
> The words run through his mind before they leave her mouth, except hearing them out loud just makes it worse, makes it harder to deny.
> 
> _Noticed the_ “way he always wants to be around you?” _Or the way he basically_ “lives here now?”
> 
> _Or, just… “_ the way he looks at me.” The last one Jin fills in before Konami can, and she looks a little thrown off but she recovers quickly.
> 
> “Exactly. Aren’t you supposed to have foresight? Why do you think he always turns down everybody who asks him out?”
> 
> The reasons flash through Jin’s head instantly, like he’s committed Arashiyama’s rejection to memory. “He’s too busy with Border and school to date anybody.”
> 
> Konami rolls her eyes. “He has the same amount of time as you do, and you apparently still have enough time to lounge around and steal my dorayaki.” She scowls at him, grabbing the plate on the table in front of him and holding it protectively.
> 
> Jin is not concerned with the loss of his food, far too caught up in his thoughts to hear Konami walk away angrily with her sweets, or her yelling at Karasuma for tricking her once again.

Jin has a slow, aching period of silence after that. He stays in his room for the most part, ignores Youtarou knocking on his door and Konami knocking on his door and even Rindou knocking on his door. It’s unseemly for anybody to see him the way he is - torn up, sulking, downright terrified.

Love has placed its shackles on Jin and he is sinking, deep, deep into the depths.

And as always, when Jin is falling, Arashiyama pulls him back up. The next day is a school day and Jin cannot avoid it like he had been avoiding everything else in his life, including his emotions. Jin thinks about going, sitting in the desk next to Arashiyama and seeing Arashiyama’s smile and falling asleep on his shoulder and walking to Border with him after school and he doesn’t need foresight to know the outcome of this situation. He is doomed, and anybody can tell that, future divining powers or not.

So Jin walks into the future with the air of a hanged man. The future does not let him down on that expectation.

> “Jin!” Arashiyama calls and his face is shadowed with concern, an ill fitting look on the boy. “You didn’t return my calls all weekend. Konami told me you were probably dead...”
> 
> Jin smiles at him and it comes easily, as it always does around Arashiyama. “Sorry for worrying you,” he says and he hopes Arashiyama hears the sincerity behind the words.
> 
> Arashiyama sighs and shakes his head, but sits back down in his seat and Jin knows he is forgiven. He takes his place next to Arashiyama, already zoning out the teacher to stare at Arashiyama and his soft hair, his focused eyes, his mouth pulling up into a smile.
> 
> “Jin,” Arashiyama whispers and he is still looking intently at the board, “you’re staring.”
> 
> “You’re too handsome, Arashiyama,” Jin whispers back, still staring at Arashiyama, “it’s distracting.”
> 
> Arashiyama flushes red and seems to renew his efforts in paying attention in class, refusing to look over at Jin for the rest of the time.

Even though he’s been trapped, anchored in love with Arashiyama, whenever Jin is around Arashiyama he feels lighter than he’s ever been before. Their routine is mostly the same, they have built their own rhythm for life, perfectly in pace. The changes are small, but key. Jin lingers a little longer than necessary whenever he leans against Arashiyama. Arashiyama doesn’t pull his hand away immediately when they both reach for the same pen. They both feel the shift, acknowledge the shift, even if it remains unsaid. They are just that bit closer and Jin feels like he’s dipping his hands into the ocean, getting ready to dive in.

Whether he dives or Arashiyama pulls him in, he’s not sure.

> “Jin.” Arashiyama pokes Jin in the shoulder, waking him up from his nap abruptly. Jin sighs, eyes blinking in the low light of the classroom.
> 
> The sun is on its way to setting. He looks around in the class, and there’s only the two of them.
> 
> “You fell asleep towards the end of our last lesson and I didn’t want to wake you up.” There’s a note on Jin’s desk and it reads _didn’t want to wake you up. i’m at a stuco meeting rn, wait for me._
> 
> The note is not named but Jin does not need it to be. He easily recognizes Arashiyama’s messy handwriting, the curves in his characters exaggerated and bouncy.
> 
> “The meeting just finished.” Arashiyama supplies and Jin nods, rubbing at his eyes and pulling his bag from under his desk.
> 
> “Thanks for waking me up.” He says, and it’s more of a courtesy than anything. He knows that Arashiyama wouldn’t leave him behind.
> 
> Arashiyama is looking out the window, at the golden streaked sky. The orange light of the setting sun sets his features aglow, turning him into the star he always has been. It’s quiet enough that Jin can hear his heartbeat, quiet enough that he hears Arashiyama whisper “Jin, can I kiss you?”
> 
> “What?” Jin says, just to make sure he heard correctly. Arashiyama turns to look at him, smiling and alive.
> 
> “Jin, can I kiss you?”
> 
> Jin blinks as the world slows down. “Yeah.”
> 
> Arashiyama smiles even wider, takes a step towards Jin and pulls him in. They are both unpracticed, unsure, but Jin feels like he’s burning up and he likes it, loves it. He places his hands at Arashiyama’s waist, pulls him flush with his own body and presses further into the kiss. Arashiyama’s lips are slightly chapped, he tastes vaguely like coffee and he is pliant, willing, melting into the gesture.
> 
> They pull apart and Jin thinks the world is exploding. Arashiyama’s face is slightly flushed, a soft smile on his face and Jin has never, ever seen anything or anybody so beautiful.
> 
> “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” Arashiyama breathes.
> 
> Jin laughs. “I think I do.”

He almost feels bad about it, sometimes. Arashiyama Jun is Border’s first love, Mikado city’s sweetheart, but before that he is Jin’s first love, Jin’s sweetheart. Every second trainee that walks into Border falls for Arashiyama’s gentle charms and it is only Jin that gets to keep Arashiyama all to himself, selfishly claiming him with intertwined hands, kisses on cheeks.

Arashiyama may be Border’s first love, but Jin is Arashiyama’s first love. His only love. And that is a far better privilege than anything he could ever ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> if you couldn't tell i Really enjoy projecting my feelings for arashiyama onto other people... ouji... jin... the Entirety of border... etc. i just love him so much lads
> 
> arashiyama is bi, jin is gay. "but jordan, jin has been blatantly heterosexual in world trigger canon!!!" please let me dream


End file.
